Sometimes the cheater knows that she or he is in a lousy relationship and makes use of these feelings to justify the infidelity or to find a new partner earlier than abandoning the old one. Sometimes the primary relationship lacks sexual fireplace or emotional intimacy, so the cheater has a one-evening stand or an affair to fill the void.
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The solely real concern is that they’re dishonest, and so they can’t, or don’t, wish to stop. And guess what, more often than not, this is the case. Sometimes the cheater has an attachment deficit disorder. Sometimes the cheater has unresolved childhood trauma and makes use of the thrill of illicit sex and romance as a distraction from painful emotions.
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From the perspective of the betrayed partner, probably not. For the betrayed partner, sexual betrayal hurts the same ashleymafison, no matter the underlying trigger, and there is no good reason to do it.
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From a remedy standpoint, however, the explanations a person cheats do matter. Lastly, joyful people who cheat might accomplish that to experience new or exiled feelings.
They take into consideration the one that obtained away, or the one that never was, or the life they could have had if solely . This may cause them to really feel limited and fenced in by the life and relationship they’ve chosen — regardless of how a lot they get pleasure from that life and relationship. They use extracurricular sex to see who they could have been in the event that they’d opted for a special path.
Again, this is a type of self-exploration, the place infidelity introduces the individual to the stranger within. What I even have learned over the course of almost three a long time as a therapist specializing in intercourse and intimacy points is that infidelity is often a symptom of a flawed persona or relationship, however not always.
Men can be especially susceptible to this, as they’re typically informed, as they grow up, to repress and never specific their emotions. Unfortunately, in so doing they often stifle pleasure in addition to sorrow, pleasure in addition to ache. For these individuals, regardless of gender, infidelity is extra of an emotional release than a sexual launch. And once again, these cheaters are exploring their internal self. Here, as a substitute of transgression, it’s missed alternatives that draw cheaters in.
Some people are fairly emotionally wholesome and in an exquisite major relationship, they usually nonetheless select to cheat. So there the cheater sits, happy in his or her relationship, but nonetheless dishonest and wondering why. That said, the trigger-and-impact model described above doesn’t absolutely clarify all infidelity.